Danny Mills may be a heads-down, foot-up skinheaded blunderbuss of a footballer, but he certainly knows how to give the English language a good boot up the fundament to remind it it’s in a game.
Distraught that he was left out of the Leeds team over the weekend, Mills complained on his personal website:
“…if I now said that I wasn’t wondering as to whether the manager was being completely straight with me, I would have to say that I would be lying”.
Mills’ use of the subjunctive is as delicate and controlled as his Row Z shooting, but dig through it and you’ll find a subtle version of the Cretan Liar’s Paradox. I can only assume this is to cover himself after the inevitable summons to the manager’s office. With about-to-be-smashed teacups already trembling, Mills would be able to point out with his customary gentleness that when he hypothetically lied about not calling the manager a liar, he was not to be believed as he was, of course, lying.
Who ever said that British footballers have no technical ability? This master of the syllogistic give-and-go is clearly due a recall to Peter “All I have learnt is that I have learnt nothing” Reid’s first XI.