I think I missed something that happened with my clothes. Now, to my surprise, I own some underpants labelled “Stallion”. And another pair labelled “Simmer”. And another called “Guilty”.
Now, apart from saying much about the sexual pathology of this peculiar land (and I suppose I should point out that the wording is on the seat of the pants), this all came as a bleary eyed surprise while pulling things out of the drawer in a distracted attempt to get ready for the day. I retrieved the packaging and concluded that I wasn’t just being a lamebrained myopic; there seemed to be a concerted attempt to hide from me the fact that I was buying stallion pants.
I feel like a sheltered teen whose racy aunt has decided must be brought out of his shell a little.
Relatedly, the label on some other clothes promises “Japanese Care Symbols”. Lovely. Thanks. Is this some form of Feng Shui for trousers? Or are these collectible symbols, like Pokemon? Surely I should have heard of these ‘Poketrousers’? How do I make them fight? Will they strobe unexpectedly, causing epileptic fits in children?
I think I’ll take them back to the shop, just in case.