12.13.02
Cockney alphabets
I think I first encountered a Cockney alphabet in a children’s book (probably a Puffin) where it was passed off as a schoolkid’s alphabet, thus totally obliterating both the pronunciation (which I wouldn’t have registered anyway) and the local references.
Diamond Geezer’s nicely hyperlinked version is good, but clearly updated (”R for Fowler” indeed).
For the original (if such a thing exists) you’ll have to turn to the King of Slang, Eric Partridge. Unfortunately, his 1961 Comic Alphabets is out of print. So below is the best I can reconstruct from home.
A for ‘orses
B for mutton
C for miles
D for dumb
E for brick
F for been had
G for police
H for retirement
I for the girls
J for oranges
K for restaurant
L for leather
M for sis
N for a penny
O for the garden wall
P for ming fleas (probably not the earliest, but the wittiest)
Q for a song
R for mo
S for you
T for two
U for instance
V for la France
W for a bob
X for breakfast
Y for mistress
Z for breezes