The first phase of sorting out the track is under way. Visitors to the old place will be amazed to hear that a lot of the road is now almost flat, and the potholes have gone. Basically, a nice square sort of man called Malcolm has deployed an ingenious machine which breaks up the tarmac surface and then rolls it flat. It will then be secured by a mixture of quarry waste with a little tar, carefully rolled — this is a long way off what goes to making a proper road, but with the amount of traffic we actually have, it should be sufficient. The potholes got out of control this last winter, and what remained of the tarmac has been actively making things worse. What amazed me is that, although I’ve had the door open most of the day, I haven’t heard a thing. Oh, and by the way, I have just glanced at my watch (6.35) and observe that it seems not to be the end of the world after all. A chap called Harold Camping (89) in America seems to have managed to persuade a surprising number of people that the world would end at 6.00 today. He also suggested that this would be signalled by 200 million believers being swept up to heaven in ‘The Rapture’. Considering the kind of people Mr Camping means by ‘believers’, I feel a certain sense of regret that this is probably quite unlikely: I can’t help feeling that life down here might be easier without them. I was rather taken by a cheeky chappie in New Hampshire I found out about via the BBC, who set up a business called Eternal Earth-bound Pets, which he set up as a service to those who believe themselves in danger of being raptured. He has more than 250 clients who are paying up to $135 (£83) apiece to have their pets picked up and cared for after their owners vanish skywards. They would be disappointed twice, Mr Centre told the Wall Street Journal. ‘Once because they weren’t raptured, and again because I don’t do refunds.’

2 Responses to “Roadmending”

  1. The Man From Maryport Says:

    The New Hampshire chappy’s sense of enterprise doesn’t quite match that of the South Korean pastor c 1998 who convinced his followers (i) the world would end with the Millenium & (ii) they should donate all their worldly goods to his church as clearly they wouldn’t be needing them themselves. Some time in 2001 they got rather miffed when they discovered he’d invested the dosh in long-dated government securities due to mature in the latter part of the decade . . .

  2. Eleanor Says:

    See, we are good for some important Christian amusement over here every now and again, aren’t we?!

Leave a Reply