Ow, ow, ow, ow

I have been severely bitten by the Inland Revenue, the bastards. My accountant, with a glorious swish of his sword and his lance, and a glorious clank of his tin-plated pants, has sailed in to do battle. What is so annoying about the situation is: 1) I have NOT earned any money to speak of through my writing for about five years, in keeping with the general mayhem which has descended upon the the fiction market. 2) a sum of money bobbed up I should have had a decade ago. I was, naturally, very pleased to see it, especially since it came as a complete surprise, but the dewy-eyed naifs of the Inland Revenue promptly said — hey! if you earned this much in 2010-11 we may reasonably assume you’ll earn the same in 2011-12!!! As if. Therefore, they merrily concluded, you can pay half up front for moneys which, in fact, I have not the slightest reason to believe will, or even might, exist. This is what you pay accountants for. I hope that in the next day or so, he will be sitting the Inland Revenue down upon his knee and explaining to them that no, Santa Claus does not exist. Nor the Tooth Fairy. Nor, at present, my ability to earn five figure sums by making things up.

5 Responses to “Ow, ow, ow, ow”

  1. The Man From Maryport Says:

    Of course, if your name was ‘Goldman Sachs’ you wouldn’t need an accountant. You would simply tell the rapacious morons exactly how much you proposed paying them. They would say ‘Well, that seems to be about £2,000,000,000 less than we were expecting, but hey, that’s small change to people like you, so we’ll say no more about it.’ And all parties would be content.

  2. cp Says:

    It is said that the US is now tracking down those with dual citizenship, so as to get them to pay taxes and fines for when they didn’t. All comes of letting G-S off the hook. But I have no Social Security Number which means, I think, that I do have ss of another sort. My latest, and last encounter with the SS people (yes, SS) brought me yet another note: still not enough info to give me a number. What to do? Go to the Embassy - open except on US and Swedish holidays. The word for what I wanted supplied in Swedish, but no directions to the street in Stockholm. I have given up - and American friends live, they say, in envy of my undocumented starus. The address on the envelope? The SS office in Cambridge, MA.

  3. Jane Says:

    Should you decide to move to Stockholm then they will be waiting for you. Perhaps a reason not to?

  4. cp Says:

    The taxes in Sweden are enough to discourage a move.l The wines and other potables for a Swedish friend’s wedding were largely supplied, over a year, by those who had been outside, bringling bottles inside.

  5. Eleanor Says:

    Tin-plated pants… Ha ha ha. I love it.

Leave a Reply