Historic Naughtiness

Our on the whole good little dog must have got out of bed the wrong side this morning, because when I took her out, there was a series of Incidents. We have a rather odd family just up the road, who I think espouse some exotic religion, at any rate, for whatever reason, they don’t talk to anyone. As I came out of the drive, the youngest of the three children was to be seen coming back from school, a small silhouette on the track. Miss Dog loves children, and went off like a rocket. The Aliens, as we call them, do not love dogs. I screamed my head off, but she paid me not the slightest heed, and danced round him wagging; the boy, clearly, did not want her anywhere near him, and since his reaction was so disappointing, she condescended to come back to me. We then went off up the burn, and all was harmony till, as we were roving through the wood, she discovered a decomposed deer leg. The command ‘DROP IT’ fell on deaf ears. Nor would she swop it for a dog treat, but danced away; the revolting object was much too obdurate for her unless she lay down, took it between her paws and got her back teeth to work, which she was most anxious to do, so rather than displaying her pretty turn of speed, she gambolled off, pausing every few yards to give it a bit of a chew; I, meanwhile pursued her through the trees, but every time I got within grabbing distance she skittered off. Eventually the little blighter miscalculated, and I was able to tackle her, grab her by the tail, haul her towards me and get her by the collar. It took a sharp clout on the snout to get her to unclench her jaws. The best you can say for this shocking misconduct is that she didn’t actually growl at me. I hung the disgusting remains in a crook in a tree, well above ground level, where with any luck it will stay. I think we are going to have to have some Obedience Sessions. Carrion moments probably aren’t a big deal, but charging at children, however good her intentions, is rather serious. Not everyone responds well to finding a ballistic Labrador is bulleting towards them at about 20 mph, nor should they have to. I’m not quite sure how best to tackle this one.

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