It is one of those mornings when the animal community seems to have been possessed by demons. Miss Dog crapped on the rug in the hall, Miss Kit piddled on a towel, even Miss Best Friend, who is a good old thing, was sick on the carpet. The weather is absolutely vile, which may have something to do with it. Between bouts of clearing up body fluids, I had a serious thought this morning. Given the current appetite for epic, why has nobody made a film of the Aeneid? For today’s audiences you’d have to see a bit more of Dido founding Carthage, I think, to give you a strong heroine, and that would give you a love story of two refugees from war-torn regions, followed by that oldie but goodie, the Conflict of Lerve and Doody. Just so long as it didn’t have that Russell Crowe in it.