Invader

Well, we have at least one answer to why the beastlies are so bothered — there is a feral tom cat passing through. Not a wild cat, because he made so bold as to come in and spray my study. A quite unmistakable pong. Toms tend to be very aggressive towards spayed female cats, which would explain why the entire feline population is acting so cautiously. Coming in and spraying is self-evidently an action of intimidation addressed to Mrs Grey and the kitten, so I suspect they have been given something to be frightened of. Fortunately, the odour-removing spray you can get at the vet really does work & the atmosphere in here is now reasonably salubrious. What we need is Tiger Balm, I’m sure, but applying it could be a bit of a problem.

6 Responses to “Invader”

  1. the tropical godfather Says:

    This is clearly a job for the AG! A challenge to his manhood, no less, as demonstrated by his ingenuity as a maker of traps. ‘Surely,’ you must tell him, ‘to one who single handedly vanquised the rising crime rate of Turriff-les-Bains, a mere pussy cat is child’s play. Just think what the girls would say if they discovered that you were beaten by a pussy cat! Not that any of us would say anything! Good heavens no! But some of our guests…well, they do have a tendency to CHATTER…’

    The only problem is that traps generally have to be baited, and I doubt that the Lady Novelist would consent to using Miss Kit as the bait. But if Miss Kit could be prevailed upon to scent a dear little Twisby, for example, then…

  2. carol Says:

    The Cold Stare, I feel, could be burnished to a pleasant glow with an application of the ever-useful Tiger-Balm…

    PS. Just bought nutmegs and saw a choice of Tiger Balms at the till- red and WHITE. Hmm. Expert users care to comment on the variety? Can’t be the ususal - red for deterring animals, white for dangerous fish, can it?

  3. the tropical godfather Says:

    The disctinction is elementary. The white is deliciously comforting and cures all ills, including broken hearts and housemaid’s knee. The red burns your skin off and is just the ticket for feral cats and all undesirably amorous life forms such as stallions, bank clerks and tigers. I speak as one who knows.

  4. The Canadian Professor Says:

    I shall keep imagining a Scottish wild cat, with a Cheshire grin.

    Stallions, bank clerks and tigers - at the same time?

  5. the tropical godfather Says:

    It begins to sound like the salsa-dancing Jesuits of the Northern Professor’s little book are NOTHING LIKE so baroque as everyday life at Burnside.

  6. carol Says:

    For the discouragement of feral toms (of all species), I wonder about the possibility of distilling a quintessence of Twisby, to make a kind of highly pungent, but persistant grey balm, of some kind? A lard base, I suspect, would be most effective….

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