We now have a gleaming new cooker. It was delivered without fuss, despite the snow, when promised; when the delivery man was misled by his SatNav and sent to the grain-store (this happens) he rang up for instructions. The Cooker Whisperer turned up within an hour of the van’s departure, and fitted it. Also, it fits the space, and I can still open the proximate drawer, which I hadn’t been betting on, since when I measured the space and compared it to the cooker specs, I knew the thing would probably project 1 cm beyond the worktops, which in fact, it doesn’t. All its bits seem to be there, and it is even now cooking off the suspicious plasticky smell which attends new cookers. I am now reading the manual, something which is generally done only by Dr Biswell, but he isn’t here. I have got as far as p. 10: Ceramic Hob, only to be brought up short by the first thing on the list of DO NOT:
1. Do not stare at halogen heating units.
Well, dearie, there are many who would say we lead sad, sad, lives and don’t get out enough (especially at the moment), but at least we are seldom reduced to staring at halogen heating units. Are they shy?

3 Responses to “Hooray”

  1. The Man From Maryport Says:

    Obviously they suffer from feelings of inadequacy & fear that they’ll never get a date with a cute little gas-ring from Paris . . . perhaps you could try boosting their self-esteem by giving them the chance to make a unique and valued contribution to some high-class cuisine Burnside?

  2. William Says:

    When you look at them, they give you a fuzzy warm, glowy feeling. Which is outside of the remit for halogen Stoves. Remember, this new cooker may be having pangs of insecurity over what it was replacing…

  3. Jane Says:

    It can’t possibly be having pangs of insecurity over what it’s replacing, By comparison with the pathetic heap of junk in the back kitchen, it is by any possible computation an Alpha Cooker. It may be having performance anxieties, but that’s a whole different thing.

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